I really hate being a fraidy cat.....

Not sure who is aware of this but can be a real scarrdy cat.  Okay so I can't spell that made up word, don't judge.  I am sometimes afraid of failing, of illness, of not being a good mom, of punching a deserving person in the nose sometime....  I am also very afraid of animals.  Not dogs, I have a dog, he is great.  Currently flea ridden, but great.  Cats I am getting better but it has to belong to someone I trust and it absolutely cannot make hissings noises or stare at me.  There is no explanation for this fear it just is, and because of the irrational origins it is extremely irrational in its demonstration.

For reasons I will never understand or possibly forgive, my parents allowed Preston to keep as a pet, IN OUR HOME, a baby squirrel that was rescued in a garden shed after hurricane winds.  I have never spent so many weeks thinking my parents hated me.  I am pretty sure this is when the anxiety issues plaguing me today took root.  I think they lie dormant until when, like that crazy squirrel Chester,  they leaped out of nowhere to pounce upon me and cause my heart to palpitate in the most unpleasant ways.  Well Chester died and unfortunately my fear of creatures, especially rodent like creatures, did not.  Years later my dear friends Steve and Dawn, clearly they were on drugs confused, had a pet ferret.  Talk about testing a relationship!  Maybe that is why their son Jake is my favorite kid, his arrival meant Duke the scary pet was GONE!

Well this morning, I thought I saw an animal in my peripheral.  I looked up quickly but it was just a trick of the eye or something, because nothing was there.  Then I saw it again, just the quick sense of movement.  I needed Scott so I stood on the couch and called for him.  Now our house is pretty small but adequate, the issue is that all of our space is vertical.  So the kids sleep up stairs our room is in the basement and the living room in in between.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to call in a "I'm in a bind and need you dear" voice loud enough to wake Scott but not the children?  Let me tell you, it can't be done.  So I stood on the ottoman, to be closer to the basement door, no luck.  I stepped across to the love seat and then like a grownup I climbed to the safety of the bar.  As I knelt on the bar I was so glad I'd lowered the blinds....turns out I  lowered didn't close them...Anyway, still no success getting Scott not your early morning hero's attention.  I thought well I could use some fortification from coffee but I DO NOT want to walk past the spot where I saw the creature. What to do what to do...AH HA!  I stepped to a chair picked up another and set it closer to the coffee pot and then another, all of this chair lifting before coffee was very taxing.  Finally I made it to the coffee pot and then I had to figure out how to get back and not spill.....

Unfortunately, after getting safely back to my spot I saw it again!  It seemed bigger this time.  Don't you think I would have heard it as well as seen it in my powerful pre-coffee, allergy eyed peripheral vision?  Which kinda leaves as the only solution, hallucinating.  This is not good.  I mean who, without the aid of mind altering drugs, hallucinates about largish rodents moving stealthily back and forth from her bathroom and kitchen?  I think it is clear what is going on here, repressed issues from having to live with a probably rabid squirrel.....

present for Momma..

This, although not a great photo is my present for Momma's birthday.  She likes signs and hates whining....

My Momma at 60......

Today is Momma's birthday.  She is 60 years and you know what's terrible about it?  People ask if she's my sister...Well good for her and she does looks great but really???  I can't imagine ANYONE asking if Allye and I are sisters.

My earliest memories are just fleeting images and sensations.  I remember loving to lay my head on her lap and she would repeatedly tuck my hair behind my ear until I fell asleep.  I remember getting in her bed in the middle of the night.  I remember her teaching me to fear cats and mice.  I remember her always making my favorite cake for my birthday, Texas Sheet Cake!   I know she gave me a very happy childhood because when I go to antique stores and resale shops I see toys, dishes, pictures and such, and I want to weep at the good feelings and memory that fills me.

Back in the day....

She taught me many important things.  These are just a sampling...
Iron your clothes.
Love my husband and let him know it.
How to cook.
The proper way to fold fitted sheets.
How to freely open my home to anyone who needs to be there.
Give when you can whatever you can. 
She is still trying to teach me not to worry over what I cannot control.
Do not force your bad mood on others.
Being patient doesn't mean we will eventually get our way.
It's okay to be affectionate in front of my children.
I am not always right.
Body language screams.
God doesn't always give you easy choices.

When I got pregnant for the first time she was thrilled.  I can think of no one better suited to grandparenthood.  Despite the fact that there is no question she indulges my kiddos, she has always fully respected our choices as parents.  She was NOT a fan of our decision to let the kids "cry it out"  when we were training them to put themselves to sleep.  Never did she criticize or try and undermine.  My children are under the impression that Gramms is the place to be for treats and special attention.  I love that!

I often think she spoils me more now that I am an adult than when I was little.  When the boys were born she would come over every night at 3am to help me feed them and sometimes she'd recruit a buddy so I could sleep.  I wonder why she didn't think she ever needed a break?  She is the queen of buying me "happies"  if she sees something she thinks I'd like or have said I want she will pick it up as though it were the most natural of things.  She does everything in her power to facilitate my doing what I enjoy.

If I had to use only one word to describe her it would be SELFLESS, said with an echo for emphasis.  She shares with everybody without thinking it's a sacrifice.  I bet she feeds 20 people or more a week without considering that it increases her grocery bill tremendously.  People just walk into her home, make lunch and leave, often not cleaning up after themselves.  Once they even ate the food she had planned to serve her family for dinner!  Crazy but you know she doesn't complain, or even boast a little....

If I ever grow up I hope to present God as effortlessly and consistently as her.  Thank you Momma for being a great mom, Gramms and friend. 

Fun day for the guys....

On Friday Scott and Gpa set off on their adventure to delve into the Huston family history.  I served them up a big breakfast it have everything except pancakes.  I know what a slacker! 

They took off around 8:30 and returned  about 12 hours later.  I am not sure all that they got into but despite a wild goose chase in the woods they seemed to feel the day was a big success.  We tried to keep busy while they were gone but I am sure we did nothing as exciting.  Scott sent a few pics along the way....

Apparently David Huston was important!

It would be cool to know what these said.

Crafty Sabbatical.....

So maybe saying I've been on a "Crafty Sabbatical" is a bit dramatic, but I haven't made anything in over a week... I finished this last Saturday.  My sister commissioned it to give as a Christmas gift for her friends.

I was going for tasteful home decor for die hard Saints fans...

Scott suggested using the sheet music...I thought is was a great idea!

Anyway I am feeling the urge to make, sew, create!  This project is what has whispering in my ear lately.  I finally found the cheese plate and dome $1.50 at the thrift store, YAY!  So now I need to decide on a color of paint and base...

FIshing with Grandpa!!

Like I said Grandpa is visiting.  The boys are soooooo excited.  About an hour before his arrival, they stood at the window in the play room on the look out.  When he FINALLY got here, they ran out, grabbed his bag each arm and escorted him into the house.  Then they proceeded chatter all at the same time trying to out do one another in volume.  We sat down for dinner and  as we were talking Landry informed Gpa that he is very popular, he should visit us more to keep his ego in high form.  We ate buffet style and while Gpa was fixing his plate he snuck a cookie, not very sneakily since everyone saw him.  Anyway this cracked Tucker up and he declared this to be the funniest dinner ever.

We took Gpa to church which was fun, we've talked about him so much people we very anxious to meet him, see he IS popular.  We as usual were among the last to leave....

This morning, I was called away before coffee..MOM!  While sitting in Momma's living room we saw Gpa out for a morning stroll, 7:30 ish.  Seconds later we see a streak of orange (Landry), then a streak of blue (Tucker), then a streak of grey (Ash).  No alone time for Gpa... I can sympathize.  While on their morning constitutional they planned a fishing outing so after having breakfast to a chorus of "When are we going fishing"  off they went.

BIG PLANS....

Unsuccessfully digging for worms...

Since the plans to dig their own worms didn't pay off they had to go buy some, Gpa told them to "Load up!".  Tucker said, "Hey our dad says that, Did he learn it from you or did he teach it to you?"

Having a visitor this week!!!

So Grandpa is coming to visit us tomorrow!  Grandpa would be Scott's dad and we are very pumped about the visit.  As of now the plans look to something like this: Wednesday afternoon arrival, dinner then church, Thursday Scott is taking him to work with him and they will be pouring concrete(fun stuff huh?) Friday they will be going to fill in some gaps in the genealogy research grandpa started last year.  Saturday will be a cross country meet so Allye can run her heart out for him, Sunday church and football and he has to go home on Monday.

This will be his first time to come see us without Mano.  I am feeling the loss of her acutely as we plan this visit.  I know that he will miss his traveling companion as he has missed her everyday.  I always look forward to their coming so I can catch up and play with her.  Let me tell you about my mother in law....

Her name is Shirley Huston and I know of no one who did not love her.  She had such a spirit of fun and life and to be with her would boost your day immensely.  She had a desire to honor God and did this with seeming ease  through her marriage, family and service.  She was a tireless worker and always looking for some new way to use her talents to benefit someone.  Family was her primary source of joy, she loved her children, grandchildren, her brothers and sisters in-law, her nieces, nephews and beyond. 

My first meeting with Shirley was an introduction to a woman that would become my family and my friend.  We spent the time together shopping, playing games, working puzzles and golfing.  I was a nervous wreck at the prospect of spending the week with Scott's parents but they made me feel like I belonged within moments.

Delighted with our plans marry, she often made me feel like the daughter and Scott the in-law. When Allye was born she came in at grandchild number 13, by the time the boys were born they numbered at 18, 19, and 20.  When she died the number was 22 and a few weeks following her memorial service number 23 was born.  All of them precious to her and all could be thought of as the first.

She was so unselfish, one year Ed wanted to take a "baseball trip", with Scott not her.  So the guys put together a plan, it involved visiting 6 or 7 MLB teams at their home ball parks, a visit to Cooperstown and despite the fact that I felt it was "off-theme", the National Football Hall of Fame as well.  Well when the time came for the big trip Mano and Grandpa, flew in to Cincy, rented a car and spent 2 days hanging out with us.  Then the guys loaded up the rental and headed off for their adventures in Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Boston, New York, Cleveland,  and Cooperstown.  Mano got to stay in Pleasant Plain with me and my six year old and 3 two almost three year olds.  Fun stuff!  We did exciting things like sat in the heat at the water playground, sat in the heat in the back yard, and Mano even got to change 9,257 diapers.  Yes I know we were slow to get on the potty training bus.  Anyway we did also go the Newport Aquarium and that was fun, once we managed to get the frightened toddlers past the giant shark in the entrance.  Later when they'd talk about the trip, you'd think she was the one who had the better time, she'd say "I got to be with you..."   The guys wanted to do it again, on a different coast, and she wanted the two of us to join them this time.  I would have loved that!

My children used to be afraid of dogs, big time!  whenever Mano came, they would pretend to be dogs, ask her to pretend to be afraid of them, and then one of them would comfort her.  She thought that was hilarious.  Mano was ALWAYS cold, and I always tend to be hot.  When visiting us she brought along a jacket and we kept a blanket on the couch for her to snuggle, I will miss that.  At her house I wasn't allowed to make coffee because I make it too strong, I will miss that.  She always liked my cooking, I will miss that. We always made the guys play cards, I will miss that.  She always had stories to tell me about her ministry work, her clogging and her girlfriends, I will miss that.  She had a remarkable way of  making me feel exciting even though I know I am dull, I will miss that.  I miss her and I hate that as we sit in our living room this week I will not be able to stop myself from looking at her spot on the couch and  feeling the void that her absence creates. 

After her diagnosis, she was continually upbeat and positive.  Her original prognosis was not good and as it worked out it was pretty accurate.  We were all crushed but she carried us along with her attitude of  "God's got this".  We went with her to one of the first  visits with the specialists in Houston and at that appointment they gave her her chemo/radiation options and schedule.  I asked her if she was scared, she said "It is so weird because I know I ought to be but I'm not.  I guess I know God will do what is the best thing even if I don't like it."  I want that kind of certainty that "God's got it all!"  I never saw her cry through the pain or frustration that none of the treatments we changing things.  I did however see her cry once because she wanted to share with her kids how wonderful her prince was.  It was so important that we know what a good, Godly man Grandpa is and how he demonstrated his love for her, and it moved her to tears.  I've had a crush on Grandpa for years now it's cemented forever.

I know our time together will be blessed and I hope Grandpa will feel the same!