It is sooo hot in here!

So today I thought I'd confess to some of the things I am not so proud of but I don't seem to be in a hurry to change.  I am not a stellar house keeper.  I want to be a whiz at all things domestic but alas I am not.  I am a fair to good cook, a decent seamstress, a mostly loving wife and mother but I will probably never manage to wash the dishes as I go about my cooking. Thus leaving a giant pile that I have no interest in washing after all that cooking. My dream life involves having clothes in my closet ready to wear not clothes that must meet the iron before adornment can take place.  Even dreaming this dream of life without wrinkles does not inspire me to stand by the dryer ready to hang everything while it is still radiating heat.  I wish to be thin I would even dare say the size of my soul is a shapely size 10 but I can't seem to get past the sweating involved in running. 

All of the above would seem to be victimless crimes and generally speaking they are unless you count me.  However my most grievous and some may say annoying flaw is the direct link between my physical comfort and my ability to be rational.  I do not like to be sweaty, hot, tired, hungry, cold, sad, stressed, itchy, sleepy, confused, or achy.  Really, I know I should just suck it up and deal right?  The problem is Scott.  You see he seems to be a very tolerant person (sometimes this aggravates the problem) and he lets me get away with complaining.  I haven't said or done many things that have resulted in him getting to exasperated with me. However allowing the children to consider shoes as optional year round and adjusting the thermostat from 65-80 with no stops in between, are no crossing zones.  So I have say things like "Do not go out without shoes until at least April!" and I have to ask permission to adjust the temperature in the house.  Honestly he can be a real fun sucker sometimes!

Well all that to say it is VERY hot in this house today. 78degrees!  I mentioned it no less than seven times with no results.  I stood in the front door going in and out breathing loudly to indicate the pleasant outdoor temperature compared to the inside OF OUR HOME!!  Nothing.  It's possible I began ranting about heat stroke and the dangers of excessive sweating and how maybe I could faint from this heat.  Nothing.  While rushing around to get the boys dressed nice for Young Men' s night at church I began to experience stress. Where could the church socks be?  Confusion.  Where on earth had the belts disappeared to?  Of course my temperature was at atomic levels by now and I couldn't even think!  Did Scott care?  No, he was giving some lame excuse about between seasons and dealing with it.  I had to take off my shirt lay on the bed and absorb all the coolness I could, which let me tell there wasn't much.  I yelled for no one to touch me.  And Scott just hovered over me, exuding heat I may add, laughing!  Yes that's right laughing at my pain.  Finally I had to finish finding the boys' things so I got dressed and headed up stairs to complain look for the belts.  The boys' were concerned they asked why I was so hot so I told them their dad was a sadist and refuse to cool the house for me.

Now I do not need any dogooder improvers of mankind to point out that a.) If I were a stellar housekeeper I'd have known where the socks and belts were  b) If I were at the dryer hanging up warm clothes I would not have needed to use the hot iron, and c)  If I dropped a few pounds my body temperature would most likely not escalate to such a degree.  See, I know stuff!

Once again it's Wednesday......

My becoming a star witness doesn't seem to be panning out.  I embraced a child at church tonight, gave him instructions as though he were my own and then he turned around and said "Hi, Ms. Candy!"  So I am discouraged, if I can't pick the child of my womb out of a line up what hope is there for me?

I also seem to be failing in the mature woman of 40-something department.  Although I am not quite 40 I should at least be semi mature right?  Well not so much.  Allye was telling the boys and me something about her friend saying of you lick someone's elbow they can't feel it.  Well obviously I had no choice but to put my elbow in Tucker's face and insist he lick it.  Then I licked his and Ash licked Allye's and Allye licked Ash's. Landry not excelling at hand washing was not included in this activity.  It was a grand experiment but probably should not have taken place while driving down the road.  It is also possible that in class tonight when a certain charming young lady was painting her picture of Moses and said "I am getting some orange for my tits (instead of sticks maybe)."  I laughed out loud.   Yes, I am a grown up....kind of......

I took the boys to the glorious wonderland of the Wal Mart toy aisle today and they bought a new toy.  Yes that's right all three of them got a new toy that compliments the purchase of their brother's, it was a rare and beautiful moment of peace and harmony that lasted through the check out line and into the car where a heated discussion ensued about who went first........

Then it was off to laser tag, a new activity for us.  Apparently it was AWESOME!!!  You can run inside, in the dark, yell and scream and point your gun at someone.  What, I ask you, is there not to love?  So they played 3 games and according to the polls the villains prevailed each outing.  So today at "recess", we learned that the bad guys win and when shooting shoot to kill.

It was off to the Jones' home for dinner.  I must say it was excellent and made me feel very happy inside.  The boys being very excited about their new toy brought it in to force Jacob to play with them.  Tucker excitedly informed me that buying these toys was a great investment because they had given up video games ever since they got it. So let me recap.....3:30 purchase of toys, 4:00-6:00 laser tag, and 6:15-6:30 said statement of video game abstinence.  Yes I think I changed their lives today!!!!

I Spy With My Little Eye.

Lately I have been indulging in my love of mystery novels.  I really like Agatha Christie but honestly throw anything my way and I will give it a try.  This recent, high intake of suspense and thrillers has gotten me on a path of self improvement. I have undertaken the challenge of becoming a great witness!  Now I should regal you with the deep and meaningful reasons that led me to this mission but, I can't.  Not because it's top secret and I'd have to kill you if I told you, but because there is no such reasoning.  I just want to be ready in case my eye witness testimony is ever needed.

You see Scott the "mocker man" has in years past made non-flattering laughing sounds at my observation skills.  Just because you don't notice a Lowe's being built in a previously empty lot until opening day, I say "Why would I be looking at an empty lot? My time is more valuable than that!"  If I happen to notice someone has started shaving his head a few years late, I say at least appearance is not important to me.  I think its rude to keep count of who notices what and when.

Now being a very civil minded person and not at all strange and/or bizarre I have decided to embark upon the journey to star witnessdom.  I do not think that this will be a journey without its trials, for example Scott has already corrected my observations 3 times and Allye keeps saying, "Mom why do you keep saying 'I'm a witness!'?"  See, no support at all.  Also I am pretty sure that if I actually were to witness a horrific crime the only way any details would come from my catatonic brain would be through strong medication and hypnotherapy.

Its true, the dark green(Scott says it was black) Saturn with a man in his late thirty's/early forty's, had a license plate reading CHEWBCA.  See I notice things.

Today I .......

Finally!   We had an actually honest to goodness nothing to do stay home Saturday!!!!  I know!! I feel the same way, pinch me am I dreaming!!!   So let's see what kind of magic I made out of my day....

I began my morning with an urgent need to pee so I took care of that first off.  I decided to go ahead and stay up just in case by sleeping longer someone may have tried speak to me upon awakening.  Just to be safe I get up before anyone else in order to prevent potential acts of violence.  I then made a delicious pot of coffee and did some important Facebooking and blog reading.  I watched an episode of Bones on Hulu.

By the time I was finished with all that stimulating activity Scott was up and we sat companionably together reading novels.  I am a novel and a chapter ahead of him so I am trying to pace myself.  I had a bowl of  cereall for breakfast but for the life of me I can'remember what kind.  I feel certain it was super healthy and in no way is it endorsed by a cartoon character.  

I decided tidy the kitchen and spent about 10 minutes marveling at how nicely my lousy dishwasher cleaned to dishes for a change.  I added some white vinegar to the bottom of the washer and as suggested by my pal, Kendra, I ran the hot water until it was steaming and then I started the cycle.  Well really for me that was enough to call it a great day but hold on to your hats there was more!

I then completed the laudry and Scott was sweet enough to keep me company and help out.  He did the dreaded task of sock matching.  I know!  It's okay to be jealous.  After laundry I began sewing and I actually have 3 completed projects for the day YEA!!!!  I started and completed 2 apron/potholder sets and a swaddling pouch.

Not much....

Not much going on in my world lately.  I went to a meeting last night and probably spoke out of turn, it's just something I do.  I made chicken and dumplings for dinner.  I did not master the sewing on of blanket binding or mitered corners.  I got impulsive and plunged my hands into a pot of green dye and had incredible hulk hands for an evening.  Tucker informed me he gets sick when he thinks about lying and Landry said he sometimes thinks about it.  We seem to have the flea situation under control, so Henry can come back in the house soon.  I woke Scott up this morning to listen to suspicious scurrying sounds.  I procured a commitment for a basket in our silent auction at the Gala in February.  I folded laundry and matched socks and then I got crazy and put them away.  I sorted through some pattens to choose some for the plays I am costuming.  I spent about 20 minutes trying to decide if Chris O'Donnell is attractive.  Still not sure. I took a shower and forgot to shave my legs.  I spray painted a cheese plate.  I only drank one and a half cups of coffee today because I got hot.  We let Allye get a facebook account and I seem to have mixed feelings.  I went to the library and checked out 3 books and the Brady Bunch.

Obviously the glamour of my daily life is shocking, but try and maintain control.

doing.........

For all of you who were worried about my general state of mind, we caught a mouse.  The sad truth is that I'd have rather been hallucinating.

Yesterday we had a guest speaker at church.  His name is Jason, and he has a shaggy "Jesus" beard.  I was moved as always by the things he was convicted to share with us.  I have no doubt that God sent him here at this time to adjust my bad attitude. I, as those who know me well already know, think I know everything.  I also think I do everything right, which leads to thinking I am leading a more Godly life than everyone else.  Let me tell you this is not good.  This attitude builds bitterness, arrogance, angry, pride, and SIN.  The worst part about it is that when you think you have it all right, you don't need God so much and then the darkness is there and that's where the ugly things blossom.

Jason reminded me of several things, the first being that I belong to a awesome God.  God who began time, is at the center of time and is all that will be at the end of time.  He reminded me that satan is a created being and is the prince of this world of death.  He reminded me that Jesus endured more than my weak minded self can ever grasp.  He endured it on MY behalf and He is asking only that I do the job I am called to do.  I am not called to monitor the flaws of others.  I am not called to ensure everyone at church does their fair share.  I am not called to condemn those who make choices for their families that I may know with certainty are wrong.  I am not called to sit in superiority over those who may not have the expectations of their children that I do.  I am not called to keep score.  I am not called to stay within my comfort zone of people I approve and by doing so hiding His word from those who need it.  I am not called to be in charge of this world.

I am called to love.  I am called to sacrifice.  I am called to obedience.  I am called to service.  I am called to goodness.  I am called to humility.  I am called to honor God with my life.  I am called to repentance.  I am called to patience.  I am called to doing the right thing.  I am called to a pure heart.  I am called to removing the plank from my eye.  I am called to being busy at home.  I am called to sharing the Good News. 

Please join me in praying that I am always striving to do what I have been called to do.