Have I Told You Lately.................

Tonight our beautiful sweet daughter wanted us to have a nice romantic dinner.  She coerced convinced her brothers into helping out.  We were told only that we had to stay out of sight from 4-6, yes I hated that.  That meant that from 4pm until 6pm I had to lay on my bed and read a book.  Earlier in the day Allye picked out a nice outfit for me and Scott to wear, she even selected jewelry for me.

At the appointed time we were called to the dining room, where we were greeted by four servers with dazzling smiles, think "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast.
Allye had her hands full getting the boys in line but she managed to get them  to dress up a bit.  Tucker wore a blue striped shirt with a yellow and blue tie and jeans.  Landry went with a red black plaid shirt, black pants and a red and blue striped tie.  Ash went with the old stand-by of green shirt with camo PJ pants.  I think I heard it cost Allye a dollar or two to get him that dressed up.  They were set up with towels over the arm and everything.


We were served ceasar salads first with french bread and saltines (the darkest ones available).  Lasagna was next, it was very tasty and I only had to send it back for reheating once.  During the lasagna course, our servers were very attentive,  Landry even walked over and offered me the towel on his arm for wiping my mouth.  They even made sure there were no awkward silences.  Allye tried to get the boys to take the hint about quietly standing by and giving us our time together.  The way the boys interpreted this was to say, "Mam, Sir would you care for your waiters to converse with you today?"  Of course we said yes and the first thing Tucker said was "You may admire my shoes."  He had very kindly worn his church shoes.....

After dinner we were escorted into the living room for dancing.   It was very romantically lit with every light in the room on, we turned some off and I could hear them whispering, "Man we just turned those on!"  They "left" us alone to dance although we could see them peeking around the corner.  They found it all very amusing.  After some slow dancing, the DJ went for some upbeat music and all six of us danced together.

Next up we were sent to our room to get our jammies on, so of course we did.  When we returned to the living room it was arranged for cozy movie watching, snuggies were laid out, brownies were in the oven and the Princess Bride was set to play.  We were brought beverages during the movie and as required we were each brought our anti-inflammatory of choice and ice packs for our bum shoulders.  A more romantic evening I couldn't ask for!

This is probably more than you bargained for.....

I bet many of you think I am just a regular, ordinary, occasionally moody run of the mill female.  Yep you're wrong.  I am more along the lines of neurotic, obsessive and often moody.  This week has been a real challenge for me but honestly I am managing because I am blessed to be important enough to some strong women who will stay on their knees and pray me out of whatever funk I may find myself in.

You know that feeling when you are planning for summer camp and you have to consider lice?  Immediately
your head starts to itch and your skin does a little crawly dance all over you body.  Well that is the reaction I have to many situations I am presented with.  Not the itching or dancing skin but say for example, your in a CPR class and stroke is the topic of discussion, I may briefly, theoretically experience some symptoms. Through the course of said CPR/First Aid training, in addition to the stroke I recovered from shock, rabies and heart attack. It was a rough week.

So as luck would have it I have been working on my commitment to stop drinking pop, and get healthy.  As luck would not have it I became overly anxious about getting winded on a walk.  That of course led me to the natural conclusion that I might be having heart problems.  So I started taking an inventory of all the important body parts.  Not giant chest pain, oh wait was that a ache in my shoulder?  Is my neck hurting?  what's with the heartburn?  So I took some tums, pepto and sinus meds(maybe that's why I was winded, couldn't breathe).  I survived the night but by mid morning I was insane again.

I had to run Allye around and a meeting in the afternoon.  Scott went along with me and I began confessing to him all the ridiculous thoughts I had been having.  I told him about the tums and Pepto and then I told him that earlier I bought aspirin, icy hot and tweezers.  He was just great he was understanding and loving, he just listened.  Then he said, "Tweezers?"  He couldn't fathom where they fit into  my self diagnosis.  It was at this point I burst into tears as I had to explain that because I am now old sometimes I have an unwanted hair on my chin and the pluckable lighting is so fantastic in the car.   It was lowering..... 

 TMI ahead.......


Now after days of this sort of mind twisting anxiety,imagine my distress when the next day after that coffee kicks in and I visit the little girls room where I find that  my pooh is a horrible shade of near black(everybody looks!).  That nearly caused  those heart problems I was fretting about.  Turns out this can be caused by intestinal bleeding or yes that's right, Pepto!  So hopefully my tummy wont hurt because Alka Seltzer is yucky!!

Just because satan likes to mess with my mind, I will not allow him to rule it.  Love to you all.

In no particular order.........

It's been about a week since I posted, so I thought I should get you all up to speed.

First of all you will be happy to note that I haven't been overwhelmingly compelled to kick Scott.  So my toes are intact.  

We played some cards, we let Ben win since it was his birthday.

We enjoyed a nice evening out with Ben and Kendra.  At the book store we thumbed through a "revolutionary" diet book.  There was fascinating information within those pages.  It said fat people usually exercise less than thin people and shockingly, as it turns out they also tend to eat more than thin people.  I am telling you this book held some real ground breaking material!

I folded approximately 16345 loads of laundry.

I sewed a Father Christmas costume for a play.

I tried to annoy as few people as possible but really how do you keep a record of that?

I noticed that Scott finds it amusing when I have strange sensations such as, he will touch my nose and my chin itches.  I think he should be worried that I have this bizarre nerve condition, he could someday be solely responsible for making sure the children arrive at adulthood relatively unscathed.

Scott has shoulder pain I think it will go away during golf season.

We have been working with the boys on good hygiene,  particularly showering well.  Apparently they did not see the need in washing armpits, since those are all closed up.  So we covered all the areas that need a thorough cleaning.  Before the next round of showers Scott took them up and they had a dry run tutorial.  So you can all rest easy in the knowledge that despite many and prolonged complaints the hair, the pits, and the great divide of all the boys are all being effectively cleaned.

I had an occasion to use inverse in a sentence and I am quite certain I used it properly.  If I could remember the sentence I'd tell you.

Did I mention that Allye is in a play.  I am helping with the costumes ergo the Father Xmas sewing.  I had to buy some fabric and notions so I went to Joann Fabrics.  The Eastgate one is moving so the current store is closing, which translates into SALE!!!!   I got about $310 worth of fabric for $70.  It was very exciting!

I decided that I want an Ipod Touch or a Kindle for my anniversary,don't you think it's very thoughtful of Scott to want that for me?

I keep hearing a weird sound in the house, Scott doesn't seem terribly concerned so I will just wait until he is asleep to obsess over it.  If I am killed in my sleep(assuming I am able)  he can feel guilty for the rest of his life and be unable to to form close attachments forever after.

Just a few things that weigh on my mind

I just wanted to point out that I fixed my background!  Did you notice? Apparently, as it turns out, you should not perpetually ignore the computer when it tells you there are updates for your browser.  Who knew?  Now you are all enlightened, just like me!

The way Scott approaches his use of the library annoys me so I am refusing to be his library book getter.  He thinks I am unkind.  I think it is a kindness to try and avoid being annoyed with him.

Allye wants to have a cool birthday party and it sounds so fun I think we're going to let her.  Finding a date near her birthday might be tricky.

I am having a serious problem with deciding how to appropriately use "conversely" and "inversely" in a sentence.  I have looked up the meanings and uses and I still can't definitively decide which word is right for my sentence.  It is very distracting.

I went to a party at church tonight.  We were so old.  We played "Totally 80's Trivia", and only 5 of us could play because everyone else was born in or after 1980.  My husband was the oldest person there.  I think I am not having good feelings about this.  I did however enjoy the company very much.

The kids, as  I mentioned stayed at the Jones'.  They loved it and were so happy to see us when we picked them up that they complained we were early.  Yes we got there at 9:30.  Just feel that love.....

Scott was going to wear khakis to the party.  I really didn't care but we did have a curious discussion about his jeans.  Turns out he is saving his nice jeans for when he needs more work pants so he doesn't usually wear them.  Honestly I CANNOT figure out why people believe him when he claims I am the odd one.  Besides he has a cute butt so he should wear the jeans.

I called my friend today to get his help in solving the conversely/inversely dilemma, and he didn't answer the phone.  I got a message telling me the voice mail hadn't been set up, so I texted him to let him know his voice mail wasn't operational.  I just realized that I have been spelling dilemma wrong for, well since forever.  I have been leaving out an "m".  Wow, thank goodness fro spell check, now I can waste some time being embarrassed about how I can't spell.  Although, in all honestly dilemma is not a word I use in written form very often, so maybe I'm good.

Speaking of grammar....is "text" a multi-functional word that is spelled the same in both past and present tense or is "texted" proper?  Spell check does not recognized "texted" but then again "text" was once strictly a noun.


 

I have learned that boys are truly odd!

I really enjoy my boys, sometimes I enjoy when they are not at home.  Tonight for example they are having a sleep over at our very more-family-than-friends the Jones'.  I am sure they are having a blast and will hopefully not render their home a wrecked mess.  We are so blessed to have such close Godly friends, we are surrounded by such blessings!  It's awesome.

Sometimes I worry that my friends may find out how....let's say different my kiddos are and maybe wouldn't want them around so much.  For example......

Once when the boys were about 5, I got a new frisbee type toy and L kept asking where I "buyed" it.  I told him I "bought" it at Walmart and he said what's that mean?  I informed him that "bought" was the proper word for "buyed"  and he said "Oh like Spanish?"  So yeah at 5 they were bilingual.

Tucker age 6ish declared he was never getting married because he wasn't getting a baby stuck in his throat!  I guess our explanation that babies grow in their mommy's belly's was confusing.

When asked if they were bathing thoroughly, they were scandalized to learn that the expectation was that their actual armpits were to be scrubbed, I won't even tell you the reaction that the area between the butt cheeks was also required to have a thorough cleaning.

"Mom, your face really looks better without those glasses."~ T

After observing an odd stain on the sleeve of a shirt I leaned over saying, "what is that?"  The reply, " Um, yeah, do you have a tissue?"

T  to L- "Would you rather fall into a pit of snakes or a pit of llooovvvee?"
L  to T - "Will Lydia be there?"  "Then llooovvee"?

"Mom!! Landry hit me hard in the chest!!!" -T
"I did not hit him hard."-  L
M -Why must you hit when he does something you don't like?"  "He said he knew...."  "I didn't say that..."  "Well you looked it!!!"  "Mom he looks like that all the time and it is ANNOYING!"

~nudges mother awake from pleasant nap~  "MOM!  you snore sooo loud!" -L


"No offense mom, this is disgusting...."  statement preceding 10th, 11th, 12th....ejection from the dinner table.


"I want to go to school."-L
"Why?"-M
"If I go to school I can take care of all the bullies."  -L
"How do you plan to do that"  -M
"With my fists and if that doesn't work I will take them to the principal." -L


"...and as you boys are growing, your bodies will change and you will get start to get  hair in unexpected places like ******...."
"Can I just throw up now?" -T

After an evening of fighting and an enforced session of sharing 10 things they love about each other, I inquire...  "So L, what did you tell T you love about him?"    "I love that he looks like me."

"Mom do I have to apologized to EVERYONE i asked for money?" -L


"If I were a king, instead of having people bow to me, I'd have them dance.  'Cause that'd be more fun for everyone."-T

"Wow mom, you aren't usually this not mad before you had your coffee."-T



You get the idea, my guys are funny and boy can they keep it real.  It's okay to be jealous......

It's nice when you don't need to be perfect.....

It's the new year and here I am off to a stellar beginning.  I mean some of you probably think the reason I haven't changed my blog background is because I am to flaky and haven't taken the time.  When in actuality the reason is that I haven't the faintest idea how to convince my computer that this is a good idea.  I don't know what happened but somehow I cannot even visit that part of the blogger dashboard and I cannot view my blog stats from this computer, weird huh?   So there you have it I am not lazy and distractable, I'm just inept at such matters.

Once upon a time, I felt that if I didn't know how to do something I was somehow less of a person or in someway stupid.  I really had a hard time acknowledging anything I couldn't do or skill I didn't have.  I am pretty sure I was all jacked up on pride and self importance.  Thank goodness I got over that, do you have any idea how much effort takes to pretend you know everything?  It is exhausting!  I finally decided to embrace what I can do and for those things I can't, cultivate good friendships.

Should you ever need to know.......

I can sew, craft, cook, nap, take long baths, entertain children, shop, make cute headbands, generate random small talk, ask invasive questions, make messes, drink lots of soda and coffee, plan a great party, snore, talk to my kids, get excited about little things, see both sides of a situation, crochet, read quickly, love fiercely, enjoy solitude as much as I love crowds and several other things.

I cannot fix an engine, paint (as in landscapes), arrange flowers, put a worm on a hook,  program a computer, repair a vacuum, solve complex math problems, make baked beans or biscuits from scratch, write everything on my calendar, knit, solve most logic problems, hide my feelings, care as much as I should about world events, dust with regularity, control the urge to call stupid people stupid, manage to put my shoes away, flute a pie crust well, snap with my left hand and so many other things.